After last night, I could never be a politician.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
accomplished twins. life is a go
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
