You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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