I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
There was a lot of him and a little penis
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I want to be your penis for a week.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
