..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize