is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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