Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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