She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
