He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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