bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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