I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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