just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
But theres a keg here and me gusta
When did angry sex become our thing?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize