ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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