He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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