if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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