Porn is love you can see.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
