There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
