so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
