Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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