nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize