just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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