Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
