I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
