my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
