Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
