Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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