you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
