omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
