Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
