Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Slut skills are useful in every country.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize