I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
