a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
