how can u be prego again
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize