just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
