dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Hippo gnu deer
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
