i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
