Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
