she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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