Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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