I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
