the new term for farting is butt boxing.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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