Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
