he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
