I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
