it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
