im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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