The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
