If i come over, it means nothing
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
