I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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