Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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