Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize