Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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