..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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