Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize