based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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