I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
