we have officially lost it.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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