i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
