out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
